Journey in Faith and Grace

This is the title the Diocese of Buffalo has given to the strategic plan for the closing and merging of parishes of Catholic Churches in the Buffalo area. I belong to Our Lady of the Sacred Heart Church in Colden, NY. I have gone to this church for 20 some years. I made all my sacraments there, with the exception of baptism, Warren and I were married there, and my girls were both baptised there. My church is being merged with another church to form a new parish.

While I realize intellectually that the definition of Church is not defined as a building, it is still hard to let it go. I believe that we are part of a greater plan, and this will eventually be a good thing for both parishes. Right now however, I feel sad. I feel like I am moving from a safe secure family home, to a new place, and in my heart there will be a hole. We as a parish family have been preparing for years for the possibility that this could happen to us. I served on the Parish Council around 5 years ago, and I know we discussed this as a possibility then. We thought then the merger would be due to our ageing priest retiring and the lack of new priests in the Catholic Church. While our merger is part of a Diocesan plan, we were a little better prepared for the possibility. (There was a whole dramatic revealing of which parishes in the Diocese were to be affected and it took over a year)There were things we did to try to be proactive just in case this should occur. I can tell you truthfully that I did not think (and do not believe most of the parishioners did either) that this would happen to us. We are a self sufficient church, we do not take money from the diocese but lend it, and also have a reputation for generosity for Catholic Charities. We are vibrant in our ministries and although probably not growing in family numbers, we are a close community. The church we are merging with had not at all been preparing for the possibility that this would happen. I am not part of the transition team that is responsible for the planning for the future and formation of our new parish, and I don't know what lies in the hearts of this other parish family. I know that we will be OK, and I know that it will be an adjustment for all of us, and we have to give it time. My true hope is that we will together form a larger more vibrant parish family. I think that with God all things are possible...

But, I am still sad.

Further Proof that I AM a Bleeding Heart Liberal

as if you needed proof, and FYI I say that with a certain amount of pride. This will come at no surprise to those who know me even slightly well. Honestly, it is not to say that I embrace all that is liberal (well, maybe most of it) and have since before I knew what it meant to be liberal.

Most Recent Evidence: There is a child that I deal with at the club, I will call him, Ben. Ben has been known in and around the club (meaning SCHOOL) to be nothing short of a huge PITA, and I mean that. He pushes you. You tell him to stop at X spot, he has to be ONE step beyond that. Acceptable to me of my own children, umm...no. He constantly tests, and pushes to see what he can get away with. Ben is in either 3rd or 4th grade, right now I can't remember. I don't want to say too much just in case, but...I had to suspend him once for raising his hand in anger to threaten another student. He didn't hit, but my behavior policy includes the threat of violence with actions or words. So I give him a day off suspension, typed a behavior contract for him and I to go over when he came back. He came back, and before I could have him sign the damn contract had already had another incident with another student! My initial response was get rid of him. I was brought in specifically to bring structure and organization to a program that had not been well run in a long time, what message does this send?

I spoke with the program director who knows this child's family and situation, and he encouraged me to think on it. I, had been feeling bad about telling him he couldn't come back as it was, decided to give it serious thought. I talked to Dawnie, Mom and Warren, all with varying opinions as to the road I should take with this kid.

This is a kid that doesn't look at you when you talk to him, and I found out contrary to my own beliefs, this is not innate. Thanks Mom and Dad for giving me that without my knowing! I have met both parents and had "conversations" with each. Lets just say I know where the lack of eye contact comes from. Its not even like I can say "I see good in him." or
"He is just a likable kid." I don't, and he isn't.

BUT, the bleeding heart in me says, this is a kid that has been crapped on his entire life. He IS antagonized in school, and probably at the club too. WHAT IF? What IF...WE could be a difference in this kid's life. What if what he needs is this last chance? Could this be a story that this child tells years from now when he is a successful man raising a family? Could we be THAT difference for THIS kid???

"Ben" comes back to the club after a week suspension following his one day suspension on Monday. I have a small plan to keep him with me doing small, yet responsibility driven tasks for me starting Monday, following a meeting with him and his mom and having them sign a behavior contract with me. I will keep you posted on how my concessions have worked out for all of us. Keep your fingers crossed that this was the right decision and that I will not regret my bleeding heart.

I know, I know !!!

Sorry about the lack of blogs since September. I started back to work part time in September, and could not have estimated the insanity that would ensue. I took a job with the Boys and Girls Club in Orchard Park running their after school program, I was not looking for a job per se, but....

I haven't worked since I had Ellie and figuring why not....hmmmm I have had better ideas. That being said, I like my new job. I like actually leaving the house for a little bit BY MYSELF. (I get to listen to my own music in the car and sing really loudly, and NO ONE SAYS A THING!!). It has just been a rather large adjustment around here. This combined with the fact that my girls have been sick REPEATEDLY (and pretty sick at that) since Ellie started pre-school and I started work. I don't know if school is the true culprit, but the correlation is pretty undeniable. We were in the doctors office 5 times between the two of them in a week and a half. My kids have NEVER been sickly. They didn't get colds, flus or ear infections, we have not really done antibiotics. And let me tell you, we had to do our first antibiotic for Ell that didn't taste good...NOT FUN.

September saw Ellie start school, and LOVE school, then hate school, not want to go, have to be bribed to go, and now into October, she again likes school. Ellie is...well, Ellie. I have such a love/ and I would never say the H word in regard to my own kids, but let me say this. I am not a perfect Mom (HA, far from it) and I do not have perfect kids, and there are times when that kid (and her sister as well) are the bane of my existence. I say this with love. But, Ellie KILLS me. She sticks to what she wants, she is NOT swayed easily. My 3 and 1/2 year old and I have a conversation about what she wants to bring to school for show and tell. It has to be something red. I said, "why don't you take an apple from the tree outside, that would be a good idea!" Ellie, laying next to me in bed, "well Mom, you're right, that would be a good idea, but let's talk about this. Let's make a plan. OH, I know, how about your red pan?" I have silicone bake ware that I rarely use, it is red. Why is she thinking about this? Why is this the something red that comes to mind? I try to no avail to get her to change her mind, suggesting at least 5 other items that came to mind that were red in the house. Ellie, will not be swayed. My three year old marched into pre-school with my red silicone loaf pan in her backpack and proudly displayed to her classmates. This is my kid.

October saw a little road trip with some of my most favorite people in the world to visit some of my most favorite people in the world. Warren & I, Patti & Jamie, and Dawn & Paul (my aunt and uncle) took our second annual road trip to visit Chris and Sarah in South Carolina. It is a whirl wind tour that includes a trip to Charlotte, North Carolina for a NASCAR race. I like to call this "the Emerling's do NASCAR". I am going to blog more about this, but I didn't take the pictures, so I have to wait to get them sent to me first. It is a lot of driving in a short period of time, but it is the most amazing time and it is more than worth it.

We got back from that trip on Monday the 13th, played outside in the warm weather in the leaves and then Warren left on Tuesday and was out of town until Saturday. BOO! He was supposed to come home on Sunday, but they got an early flight out came home in time for a small party I was having! We were all very happy he was home.

I included a few pictures of us playing outside in the leaves (especially for those of you in the warm weather) to schmooze you and say I didn't abandon you, my loyal readers (whom ever you may be, and why you come back for more I don't know).

It's a Great Pumpkin Weekend

We went to get our Pumpkins Friday. It was fun picking them out with the girls. Gracie says pumpkin clearly, and we have a lot of fun looking for them as we drive around. Ellie remembered the place we went to from last year and asked if I thought they would have a jump house there again. The memory on that kid never fails to amaze me! We didn't get them until a little later on Friday, and were having Warren's family over to celebrate Warren's and also his brother, Jim's birthdays on Saturday, so I told Ellie we had to wait until Sunday to carve them.

Saturday the girls and I spent about 3 hours baking. We made peanut butter cookies and orange sugar cookies for Warren, and an apple pie for Uncle Jim. The girls LOVE to help in the kitchen, and even though it makes things take 10 times longer, and the mess 10 times worse, I love it too. We had an awesome time hanging out with the fam. We all just got to hang out and relax, our girls were totally into hanging out with their big cousin Brayden. He is 9, and just a really great kid. He is so sweet with the girls, Cherie was laughing at the stark contrast between Brayden the cousin and Brayden the soccer player. I am sooo mad at myself because I went to take a picture of Ellie laying on his lap watching TV with him, and he was rubbing her head. TOO SWEET! We didn't want to ruin the moment, but when I went to take the picture, I realized my memory card was in my digital picture frame, and by the time I got to get it out, the moment had passed. BOO!

So today was the big day for carving pumpkins. Funny though, Warren and I were the only ones actually carving the pumpkins. For once we remembered that our kids are 3 and almost 2 and some things are just better in theory than in reality. Last year I remember Ellie being BORED out of her mind while we carved the pumpkin "with" her. So, this year Ellie and Grace painted pumpkins instead. For once, something that we (the collective we) were looking forward to doing, turned out!! The girls had a riot, and we just let them have at it! Check out the progression in the pictures. I know there are a ton of them, but I couldn't help myself, the bath was a total must, I put them in and had to drain the completely PINK water before I gave them a tubbie. I hope you find the pics as amusing as I do!