My "Little" Cousins

Ryan and Kelsey are my Aunt Dawn's kids. I was 11 when Ryan was born, and remember waiting and waiting for him to come! I spent a ton of time with them as we grew up. I babysat them and spent a lot of time with them even when I wasn't babysitting. I loved being around those kids! I preferred to babysit them over anyone else because I knew what they were allowed to do, and what was expected of them. I never got the "but my Mom lets me..." because I did actually know what their Mom would allow. My Aunt and I have grown in our relationship into great friends, and the kids have well...GROWN!

Dawnie helps me at least twice a week with my kids while I work at the Boys and Girls Club. The kids LOVE going there, and I have heard rumors that Ryan and Kelsey both like it when the girls are there. Both Ryan and Kels (mostly Kels though) babysit the girls for Warren and me when we need them to. Funny too because Dawnie used to babysit my siblings and me, my siblings and I babysat Ryan and Kels, and now they babysit Ellie and Grace.

Dawnie and Paul, and the kids dad, Pat and his girlfriend Diane had a surprise party for Ryan and Kels the other day. We had so much fun planning (and maybe a little stress too for Dawnie) the party, Ryan is going to be 18 on December 19th, and Kelsey is going to be 16 on the 21 of December, so it was the perfect time to do it! It was a great party, and the "kids" were surprised (well Ry noticed some cars around the parking lot) so he got a last minute tip off, but Kels was oblivious (as I would have been) to the cars. Both of the kids were surrounded with friends who were excited to be there for them. It was really cool because both sides of their parent's (who are divorced)families were there, along with Dawnie's husband, Paul's family and worked together to make it all happen. I don't think a lot of families could pull that off, and kudos to Dawn and Pat for being able to do that!

Ryan is a senior this year (OMG), he is looking at colleges for next year and is being recruited because he is a stellar lacrosse goalie (and he gets some pretty good grades too). He also was the (kick a$#) kicker for the Orchard Park football team that was the best in the State this year. He is a genuinely nice guy, and when he isn't going to be at Aunt Dawnie's house for Ellie to pick on, she is going to really miss him! When Ry had to get a mohawk for the football team, Ellie called him Ryan giraffe head, she works on the insults before we get to their house some days, warming up her nah nah nah nah in the car.

Kelsey is a sophomore, getting ready to start driving as soon as she possibly can. She does really well in school, and I am sorry to say Ryan, I believe she wins the grades competition! Kels is a talented Dancer, she has really grown up a lot in the last year as lame as it sounds it is the truth to say that she turned into a young woman overnight! Kelsey has a strong sense of morality and part of that is being someone who is not afraid to go against the crowd. That's not an easy thing for teenagers to do, and I admire her for having the confidence to be herself!

Thanks for reading my brag rag about my awesome little cousins (who by the way tower over me especially Ryan who is probably around 6'3"), I think the world of them, and now you will too!

Shake My Head and Laugh

These pictures of the girls are from a recent morning in our house. Have I told you how obsessed I am with Christmas music? I honestly am. It is one of the greatest things in the world to me, and has been for as long as I can remember (and where do you think Ellie gets her memory from?). This particular morning, the girls must have been feeling kind of squirrely. They came out of Ellie's room with underwear on over their pants which in and of itself amused me. The next thing I know they were digging through the box of winter gear and putting it on to dance in. I laughed so hard that day, the imagination and endless train of bright ideas from these girls keeps me laughing and shaking my head all the time!

Did you hear the One...

about the Mom who thought her daughters were tucked in her bed one morning, watching TV, enjoying their sippy cups of milk?? I know that some of you have, but for those of you who have not, allow me...

I NEVER take showers in the morning unless Warren is home. Well, almost never. A few weeks ago, the girls were snuggled in my bed, engrossed in their program, so I thought instead of waiting for nap time to take a shower, I would sneak in a 2 minute shower. Bad Idea.

I get out of the shower, and Ellie is standing there waiting for me. "I AM SO, SO, SO, SO sorry. We finded the pokey things, and I poked my finger, and I poked Gracie in the leggie, and then we feeded some to the fish..."

I go running upstairs, (I don't yet know what she means by pokey things) to find Gracie on top of the desk in the spare bedroom putting THUMB TACKS into the fish tank. The pictures that follow are pictures of the fish tank when I found it.

Needless to say, no more showers while the kids are up, and pokey things=thumb tacks.

Thanksgiving Weekend

My In-Laws moved to Rushford a few years ago which is around 45 minutes away. It has gotten a little difficult since then to arrange the holidays for our families. My MIL realizing this has tried to make it a little easier all the way around by planning holiday celebrations for weekends before or after holidays. This lets us all spend time together without being rushed to get somewhere else or to get the kids to bed. We left on Friday after the girls got up from their naps and headed out to Rushford for a nice weekend and Thanksgiving feast with the Herdics.
My MIL goes out of her way to make us all comfortable and waits on us hand and foot. Grammy and Grampa got the WII for themselves (and the family too) as their Christmas present this year so we spent a lot of time playing with that, we got a little competitive and ran some tournaments which was a riot.

Saturday was the day we celebrated Thanksgiving, Warren and Jimmy went hunting (well Jim hunted, Warren walked along), and after an amazing dinner Warren and Jim took the kids outside to play in the snow while we cleaned up the kitchen. This was really the first time Grace has played in the snow, and it was the first for Ellie this year. She has been really begging to play outside and she was thrilled that she got to do it with her big cousin, Brayden.

Once all the kids got inside it was time for dessert. While we were enjoying our pie, Uncle Jim was teasing Grammy a little too much...Grammy threatened that she was going to put the last bite of pie and whipped cream in Uncle Jim's face. There was something about the glint in Grammy's eyes that told me she was not kidding, so I ran for the camera...SHE DID IT! It was hysterical, and afterwords, Grammy said it was the wildest thing she ever did in her whole life. I am so glad that I got to see it.

Warren and I are amazingly blessed with each other, our girls and our families. There is so much to be grateful for, and I so am.

Happy Thanksgiving!

The picture is typical of my girls... All dressed up, get them set for the picture and someone is NOT HAPPY!

We spent Thanksgiving Day with my family this year. Usually we celebrate with my Mom's extended family, but this was the first year my parents just had our family and my sister's family there. We had a really nice time, great company, amazing dinner (of course my pies for dessert) some wine, and of course some WII playing too. It was a little more quiet than usual, well...except for my kids, and a few squeaks from Claire here and there.

Oh, wait, now that I am thinking about it, Aunt Patti got a little riled up, getting Ellie riled up and had Ellie singing quite loudly while playing her little guitar. THAT was not so much quiet...(but it was funny)

We brought the girls home, got them in bed, grabbed a beer and caught "The Notebook" on TV together. Warren and I almost NEVER watch movies together, much less a romantic movie, all moons in the universe must have been aligned! It was the perfect ending to a great day!

Catharsis

Last week Wednesday, an Orchard Park graduate and Geneseo student was walking on a street in Geneseo, NY when she walked into the road and was struck by a semi truck. She was a very good friend of one of the staff members I work closely with, and also used to work at the Boys & Girls Club. The community of Orchard Park is small and tight knit and this has rippled down touching everyone. Strangely, on Tuesday, the staff member was speaking of this friend to me, telling me of her promising academic and sports careers. I did not ever have the fortune of meeting this person in life, and find the tragedy of her death haunting. She hung on until some time on Sunday, and the family was able to donate many of her organs.

I can't imagine how this affects members of this girl's family, extended family, friends, her long term boyfriend and his family, anyone who's life this girl touched. I came home and hugged Ellie so tight, and as we sat watching her show before she went to bed that night, all I could think was that's not how things are supposed to go in this life. This is not the way it is supposed to be. How do you look at a child you have loved and nurtured into a beautiful human being and let them go. It's not our choice, I realize this, no one person would make that choice, not ever. The choice becomes picking up the pieces of what remains of your life after losing someone you love.

For people like me, a person on the outside not looking through grief stricken eyes, the choice becomes what do you take away from a tragedy like this. The one thing I personally take from this is to make the most of the time I have with the people I love. I would never expect to always be exempt from hardship or tragedy, and acknowledging this means also being "prepared" to a certain extent for that. It is imperative to me that the people who are important to me know that, they know that they are loved by me, and should there come a point when things are not rosy between myself and anyone I love, I owe it to myself and them to clear it up and move on. Life is too short for grudges, and it is also too short to spend upset and pissed off at the world.

I had someone ask me in regard to this tragedy how you can look at a situation like this and still have faith. I believe that people who have faith, have it through these times. To me, faith is being able to look at a situation, any situation, and see God's hand in it. When people ask "how could God let this happen, what kind of God would let this happen to such good people", I understand. I don't think faith is never questioning or having all the answers, or always being able to see the answers. To me, faith is knowing and trusting that there ARE answers even if you don't know what they are, and might not ever know.

After my Papa passed away, which was to me, the single most devastating loss of my life, I wrote this of death and faith:

"The story of life is punctuated by Death-

Faith allows it not to be an ending such as a period, or question mark, but a place to emphasize with a pause allowing reflection, and then continuation to the end of your story."

"Laura"

Ellie and Grace have been playing this new game together, and it cracks me up. They grab Sadie's leash, and Ellie puts Gracie on it, by her collar, or her belt loops. Ellie then tells Gracie, "GET DOWN, LAURA". That's Ellie's new dog's name, Laura. More and more they play together and it is soo funny. Ellie helps Gracie get dressed in dress up clothes, and they play in their kitchen for longer and longer together. This is not to say that they don't fight. I have said that I spend considerable time playing police. So much so that I say I was as qualified as Sara Palin to be VP with my diplomacy skills, but I digress...Enjoy the pictures of our girls actually playing nicely together...

Halloween!!

What a riot.

Ellie was SOOOO excited for Halloween this year. We went trick or treating with Aunt Patti, Uncle J and Paity. It doesn't get any better than that, especially in Ellie's book. We have started a mini tradition of trick or treating in my Parent's neighborhood, its a great place to take the kids trick or treating.

Ellie was "Mariposa" the butterfly fairy, and Gracie was a flower. I thought for sure Ellie would want to be Hannah Montana (which is who Paityn was), she is OBSESSED with her. No, Ellie had her own ideas. I want to be a butterfly. (although originally said she and Gracie were going to be medicine, "Gracie will be that yucky kind, and I will be Grapey Grape"). Ellie trooped all around the neighborhood like a pro, "trick or treat, thank-you, Happy Halloween" she killed us. She was flying high. Gracie wasn't too far behind even though we were out much past bed time, she was saying "trick or treat" too.

Super fun night!

Fun New Game

This is a picture of Ellie playing a fun new game we play in our house. We haven't been getting outside as much lately with my work schedule combined with the weather. I got an email from Babycenter.com, (a site I have used for parenting information since I was pregnant with Ellie) as I do monthly for each of the girls (kind of like ideas for what milestones the might be hitting, what things kids their ages are going through etc.). The email was for Grace and suggested that letting her jump off a low stool would help her to develop balance and jump on her own...

Thus the stool game was born. We grab pillows from all the beds and lay them on the floor and let the girls jump from their bathroom stools onto them. Give us a little bit of outdoor type fun inside, and the girls think this is the jam!

Journey in Faith and Grace

This is the title the Diocese of Buffalo has given to the strategic plan for the closing and merging of parishes of Catholic Churches in the Buffalo area. I belong to Our Lady of the Sacred Heart Church in Colden, NY. I have gone to this church for 20 some years. I made all my sacraments there, with the exception of baptism, Warren and I were married there, and my girls were both baptised there. My church is being merged with another church to form a new parish.

While I realize intellectually that the definition of Church is not defined as a building, it is still hard to let it go. I believe that we are part of a greater plan, and this will eventually be a good thing for both parishes. Right now however, I feel sad. I feel like I am moving from a safe secure family home, to a new place, and in my heart there will be a hole. We as a parish family have been preparing for years for the possibility that this could happen to us. I served on the Parish Council around 5 years ago, and I know we discussed this as a possibility then. We thought then the merger would be due to our ageing priest retiring and the lack of new priests in the Catholic Church. While our merger is part of a Diocesan plan, we were a little better prepared for the possibility. (There was a whole dramatic revealing of which parishes in the Diocese were to be affected and it took over a year)There were things we did to try to be proactive just in case this should occur. I can tell you truthfully that I did not think (and do not believe most of the parishioners did either) that this would happen to us. We are a self sufficient church, we do not take money from the diocese but lend it, and also have a reputation for generosity for Catholic Charities. We are vibrant in our ministries and although probably not growing in family numbers, we are a close community. The church we are merging with had not at all been preparing for the possibility that this would happen. I am not part of the transition team that is responsible for the planning for the future and formation of our new parish, and I don't know what lies in the hearts of this other parish family. I know that we will be OK, and I know that it will be an adjustment for all of us, and we have to give it time. My true hope is that we will together form a larger more vibrant parish family. I think that with God all things are possible...

But, I am still sad.

Further Proof that I AM a Bleeding Heart Liberal

as if you needed proof, and FYI I say that with a certain amount of pride. This will come at no surprise to those who know me even slightly well. Honestly, it is not to say that I embrace all that is liberal (well, maybe most of it) and have since before I knew what it meant to be liberal.

Most Recent Evidence: There is a child that I deal with at the club, I will call him, Ben. Ben has been known in and around the club (meaning SCHOOL) to be nothing short of a huge PITA, and I mean that. He pushes you. You tell him to stop at X spot, he has to be ONE step beyond that. Acceptable to me of my own children, umm...no. He constantly tests, and pushes to see what he can get away with. Ben is in either 3rd or 4th grade, right now I can't remember. I don't want to say too much just in case, but...I had to suspend him once for raising his hand in anger to threaten another student. He didn't hit, but my behavior policy includes the threat of violence with actions or words. So I give him a day off suspension, typed a behavior contract for him and I to go over when he came back. He came back, and before I could have him sign the damn contract had already had another incident with another student! My initial response was get rid of him. I was brought in specifically to bring structure and organization to a program that had not been well run in a long time, what message does this send?

I spoke with the program director who knows this child's family and situation, and he encouraged me to think on it. I, had been feeling bad about telling him he couldn't come back as it was, decided to give it serious thought. I talked to Dawnie, Mom and Warren, all with varying opinions as to the road I should take with this kid.

This is a kid that doesn't look at you when you talk to him, and I found out contrary to my own beliefs, this is not innate. Thanks Mom and Dad for giving me that without my knowing! I have met both parents and had "conversations" with each. Lets just say I know where the lack of eye contact comes from. Its not even like I can say "I see good in him." or
"He is just a likable kid." I don't, and he isn't.

BUT, the bleeding heart in me says, this is a kid that has been crapped on his entire life. He IS antagonized in school, and probably at the club too. WHAT IF? What IF...WE could be a difference in this kid's life. What if what he needs is this last chance? Could this be a story that this child tells years from now when he is a successful man raising a family? Could we be THAT difference for THIS kid???

"Ben" comes back to the club after a week suspension following his one day suspension on Monday. I have a small plan to keep him with me doing small, yet responsibility driven tasks for me starting Monday, following a meeting with him and his mom and having them sign a behavior contract with me. I will keep you posted on how my concessions have worked out for all of us. Keep your fingers crossed that this was the right decision and that I will not regret my bleeding heart.

I know, I know !!!

Sorry about the lack of blogs since September. I started back to work part time in September, and could not have estimated the insanity that would ensue. I took a job with the Boys and Girls Club in Orchard Park running their after school program, I was not looking for a job per se, but....

I haven't worked since I had Ellie and figuring why not....hmmmm I have had better ideas. That being said, I like my new job. I like actually leaving the house for a little bit BY MYSELF. (I get to listen to my own music in the car and sing really loudly, and NO ONE SAYS A THING!!). It has just been a rather large adjustment around here. This combined with the fact that my girls have been sick REPEATEDLY (and pretty sick at that) since Ellie started pre-school and I started work. I don't know if school is the true culprit, but the correlation is pretty undeniable. We were in the doctors office 5 times between the two of them in a week and a half. My kids have NEVER been sickly. They didn't get colds, flus or ear infections, we have not really done antibiotics. And let me tell you, we had to do our first antibiotic for Ell that didn't taste good...NOT FUN.

September saw Ellie start school, and LOVE school, then hate school, not want to go, have to be bribed to go, and now into October, she again likes school. Ellie is...well, Ellie. I have such a love/ and I would never say the H word in regard to my own kids, but let me say this. I am not a perfect Mom (HA, far from it) and I do not have perfect kids, and there are times when that kid (and her sister as well) are the bane of my existence. I say this with love. But, Ellie KILLS me. She sticks to what she wants, she is NOT swayed easily. My 3 and 1/2 year old and I have a conversation about what she wants to bring to school for show and tell. It has to be something red. I said, "why don't you take an apple from the tree outside, that would be a good idea!" Ellie, laying next to me in bed, "well Mom, you're right, that would be a good idea, but let's talk about this. Let's make a plan. OH, I know, how about your red pan?" I have silicone bake ware that I rarely use, it is red. Why is she thinking about this? Why is this the something red that comes to mind? I try to no avail to get her to change her mind, suggesting at least 5 other items that came to mind that were red in the house. Ellie, will not be swayed. My three year old marched into pre-school with my red silicone loaf pan in her backpack and proudly displayed to her classmates. This is my kid.

October saw a little road trip with some of my most favorite people in the world to visit some of my most favorite people in the world. Warren & I, Patti & Jamie, and Dawn & Paul (my aunt and uncle) took our second annual road trip to visit Chris and Sarah in South Carolina. It is a whirl wind tour that includes a trip to Charlotte, North Carolina for a NASCAR race. I like to call this "the Emerling's do NASCAR". I am going to blog more about this, but I didn't take the pictures, so I have to wait to get them sent to me first. It is a lot of driving in a short period of time, but it is the most amazing time and it is more than worth it.

We got back from that trip on Monday the 13th, played outside in the warm weather in the leaves and then Warren left on Tuesday and was out of town until Saturday. BOO! He was supposed to come home on Sunday, but they got an early flight out came home in time for a small party I was having! We were all very happy he was home.

I included a few pictures of us playing outside in the leaves (especially for those of you in the warm weather) to schmooze you and say I didn't abandon you, my loyal readers (whom ever you may be, and why you come back for more I don't know).

It's a Great Pumpkin Weekend

We went to get our Pumpkins Friday. It was fun picking them out with the girls. Gracie says pumpkin clearly, and we have a lot of fun looking for them as we drive around. Ellie remembered the place we went to from last year and asked if I thought they would have a jump house there again. The memory on that kid never fails to amaze me! We didn't get them until a little later on Friday, and were having Warren's family over to celebrate Warren's and also his brother, Jim's birthdays on Saturday, so I told Ellie we had to wait until Sunday to carve them.

Saturday the girls and I spent about 3 hours baking. We made peanut butter cookies and orange sugar cookies for Warren, and an apple pie for Uncle Jim. The girls LOVE to help in the kitchen, and even though it makes things take 10 times longer, and the mess 10 times worse, I love it too. We had an awesome time hanging out with the fam. We all just got to hang out and relax, our girls were totally into hanging out with their big cousin Brayden. He is 9, and just a really great kid. He is so sweet with the girls, Cherie was laughing at the stark contrast between Brayden the cousin and Brayden the soccer player. I am sooo mad at myself because I went to take a picture of Ellie laying on his lap watching TV with him, and he was rubbing her head. TOO SWEET! We didn't want to ruin the moment, but when I went to take the picture, I realized my memory card was in my digital picture frame, and by the time I got to get it out, the moment had passed. BOO!

So today was the big day for carving pumpkins. Funny though, Warren and I were the only ones actually carving the pumpkins. For once we remembered that our kids are 3 and almost 2 and some things are just better in theory than in reality. Last year I remember Ellie being BORED out of her mind while we carved the pumpkin "with" her. So, this year Ellie and Grace painted pumpkins instead. For once, something that we (the collective we) were looking forward to doing, turned out!! The girls had a riot, and we just let them have at it! Check out the progression in the pictures. I know there are a ton of them, but I couldn't help myself, the bath was a total must, I put them in and had to drain the completely PINK water before I gave them a tubbie. I hope you find the pics as amusing as I do!